


Desperate

by NeonDreams



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post Season 4, Rough Sex, Season 4 Spoilers, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-09
Updated: 2012-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-09 11:41:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/455038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDreams/pseuds/NeonDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seeing Arthur and Guinevere together and happy has made Merlin very desperate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desperate

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those stories that I've been looking for but never found so I wrote it myself. While I have been loving the stories I've been reading on here and I'm a huge Merthur shipper, I needed to see some romance for Merlin. Well, sort of.

Seeing Arthur and Guinevere together and happy has made Merlin very desperate. Ever since their wedding and Gwen made queen, Merlin has felt very lonely. He wasn’t spending as much time with Arthur, he was king after all and now a husband. Morgana had been defeated for the most part and things had calmed down in Camelot and the surrounding area. Merlin was reduced to nothing more then a servant again, Arthur’s foolish friend. Merlin was spending more time with Gaius, which he wasn’t happy again. He liked the old physician but it wasn’t the same as spending time with his best friend.  
So Merlin was desperate for company, but not just company, he wanted to love and be loved. Which was why he was currently kneeling at the edge of the lake, looking out at its glass like surface and missing Freya. The girl he had loved and feared would only love. He had had his heart broken so severely that he didn’t want to love again and have to feel that pain. Merlin dipped his fingers into the icy cold water and sighed. His eyes were red from trying not to cry.  
“Why did you have to leave me Freya? Why?” He suddenly stood in anger. “Why?!” He balled his hands into fists, disappeared into the woods.  
Once back at the castle and safe in his room, Merlin frantically flipped through his many spell books. He wanted Freya back, his Freya. And he would do anything, even sell his soul if he had to. He was desperate.

Merlin returned to the lake, book in hand. He stood at the water’s edge and spoke the long and complicated spell. The water bounced and turned out in the distance. Then, something started to move under the surface and Merlin watched as wet, dark hair emerged from below. Slowly, a figure stepped out of the water and stood before him, the dress he had given Freya clinging to her body. But when she looked up at him, her eyes were milky white and dead.  
Merlin woke gasping and sat up in bed. It was a dream, only a dream. He knew he was dealing with dark magic, trying to bring Freya back but he couldn’t live without her anymore. He looked out the window, the sky still dark, so he lied back in bed and tried to sleep.  
 _“Merlin, why did you leave me? Where are you, Merlin? Merlin!”_ He jumped awake again, a small cry leaving his lips. He was panting and his eyes were wet from crying. He clutched at the blanket and cried.  
The next morning Merlin left before Gaius was awake and rode out to the lake. He looked out at it and opened the book in his hands. He just stared at the page, wondering if it was the right thing to do. There was a pain in his chest and he nodded once to himself before starting to speak. When he finished, he looked at the water but nothing happened. So he said the spell again and again. He slammed the book shut and almost through it into the water before turning.  
“You have to mean it.” A voice said. Merlin looked up to see Morgana standing there.  
“What do you want?”  
“I want to help. That spell is powerful and dark. So you have to really mean it for it to work. Or maybe you’re just too pure to do that sort of magic… Emrys.” Merlin wasn’t even shocked to hear Morgana call him that.  
“How did you know?” He asked as he walked to where his horse was to put the book back into the saddle bag.  
“Not hard to figure out. Not after I saw you fight off some bandits a few months ago. Very impressive.”  
“Go away.”  
“So who are you trying to bring back from the dead?”  
“It’s none of your business.”  
“A woman, perhaps?” Merlin shot a glare at her. “It is a woman. Who then?”  
“Her name was Freya, she was a Druid.”  
“A Druid? Not the cursed Druid girl that turned into a monster at night? The one the bounty hunter brought in all those years ago?” Merlin was tense. “I see. So, what? You set her free and while trying to help her, you fell it love?”  
“I was going to get her out of here, we were going to live somewhere far away where no one knew us. I was going to take care of her. But instead I let her die.” He was about to get up onto his horse but a firm hand gripped his arm, keeping him on the ground.  
“We’ve all lost someone, Merlin.”  
“What do you know? All you want is power.” He pushed her away but he didn’t move after that.  
“True, but we all become desperate at one point in our life.” Morgana had stepped closer to Merlin and he still didn’t move. What was she doing? But it soon became clear when she placed a hand on his shoulder and stood on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. Merlin didn’t respond. She stepped back. “You know where to find me.” And she walked away.

And somehow, Merlin did know where to find her. One night, a few days later, Merlin found himself walking through the woods to a place he had never been and yet it all seemed so familiar. He came to a small house hidden deep it the woods and surrounded by tall cliffs. He went to it and pushed the door open. The light was low and his eyes had to adjust some before he realized Morgana was sitting at the table, waiting for him.  
“I knew you’d come.” He said nothing as he stepped towards her as she got to her feet. Then he was kissing her, softly at first but soon it became hungry, rough and desperate. He twisted his fingers into her hair and gripped it hard. Morgana moaned as he pulled on her hair and pushed her up against the wall roughly. Neither one of them were going to do this the nice way. Morgana pushed Merlin’s jacket off of his shoulder and pulled his scarf off. He worked at the buttons at the back of her dress and she pushed his shirt up. Her nails dug into his stomach as he ripped her dress off her shoulders and left her standing there naked. Merlin only looked her over for a moment before she quickly got rid of his own clothes. He pressed his hips against her hard and ground into her. She moaned and scratched her nails down his back. Merlin groaned and pushed her to the bed but she was the one to push him onto his back and straddle his hips. She kissed him and trailed her tongue down his neck. She pinned his hands down and had her way with him. She sat up some, leaving his hard cock untouched. Merlin moaned, needing that friction so he pushed back, flipping her onto her back and pinning her down. He kissed down her neck and collarbone, biting along the way and leaving marks. He positioned himself and forced his cock into her without warning. Morgana moaned and bucked her hips, Merlin thrusting into her roughly. She moaned and writhed under him and he pounded into her, imagining Freya in her place. She managed to get her hands free and gripped Merlin’s shoulders, pulling him down for deep, rough kisses. She bit his bottom lip as he thrusted faster and harder, going deeper. Morgana reached her climax much sooner then Merlin but he didn’t stop. His movements had become angrier and rougher as he took what he wanted from her. She wasn’t enjoying it anymore but said nothing as she let him thrust his cock into again. She knew this would happen. Merlin gripped her waist, his nails dipping into the soft skin as he quickly changed pace in order to get himself to his climax. He was so close, the feeling building and building but never quite getting there. He slowed down and repositioned Morgana’s hips then thrusted hard and deep but slow. Then he thrusted faster and faster, feeling it build again until finally he came. He climaxed so hard and for so long that he actually forgot where he was. When it was over and after he had collapsed onto Morgana, he looked at her with no emotion in his eyes. He stood up and cleaned himself off before getting dressed. He didn’t look at her. Morgana just lied there.  
“Feel better?” She asked once he was dressed.  
Merlin looked at her over his shoulder and said nothing for a long time. Finally, he said, “Yes.” before leaving.

After that night, he never returned. He never spoke about it to anyone. And he didn’t feel quite as desperate anymore. But he still felt very lonely.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hoped you enjoyed it. This is my first Merlin fan fiction and it didn't go quite as I had planned but whatever. I still hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
